So it’s been how many days in the hospital now???? Feels like forever! I think I got here Friday the 20th and it’s been a long almost 3 weeks. I’m going a little stir crazy and I’m getting a sore tuckas! I’m feeling very guilty because I haven’t written for a while. It’s been hard with my eyesight being so bad. But no worries, I got some brain radiation that has helped improve my vision and also a wonderful husband who will proofread this post. Or maybe I shouldn’t have him proofread it and I’ll have to look back at it later and laugh at misspellings and such.
Well, like I stated earlier, I have been in the
hospital for a while. Looking at the same four walls and I am getting so antsy.
It’s sad that when the doctor says that you have an MRI or a CT scan, you get
excited about it! Now that’s crazy. I
think the hardest part of this waiting processes is feeling half decent and
alert so everyday creeps a little longer. When I first got into the hospital, I
was so nauseous and sick that I hardly even remember the first week. When I
finally “came out of it” everyone was so expressive about how great I looked
and how we all of a sudden had no government. Oh man, I had no clue how long I
was out. I’m thankful though that it had only been a couple of days and I was
feeling more alert and ready to take on my crowds of people coming to visit. I’m
sorry if I was half-dead if anyone tried to come and see me earlier that week…..
but I was very sick.
So next, I truly want to thank everyone who participated/helped/supported my 5k. I could not believe the turn out we had! I was able to Facetime Joe and see some of the boutique, goodies, and race. Plus I got to talk to some wonderful people. Thank you, thank you for your generous support and love. It is completely overwhelming. It moves me to tears every time I think of our neighbors (old and new) and the love they have shown us, it truly is overwhelming. I can’t even express my gratitude.
And to our family…..I can’t even express the
thankfulness in my heart for all the time they have sacrificed on our behalf.
They have spent nights away from their families to stay at our house with our
little Gray. I was able to see my wonderful brother for a week, who flew in from
Hawaii. My little brother came down from school in Colorado to spend time with
us. (Thank you Stayner Family) My sister from Alaska has even come down and has
been such a blessing for
our Gray and I think especially for Joe.
Our family has been remarkable. They have taken over motherly duties for me and
offered so much selfless service. My mom has been at the hospital by 8:00 am
everyday so I am not alone when Joe goes to work.
The
love of a mother is so strong and I think that is what kills me the most about
this process is that I feel like I am letting my little guys down. I know it is
crazy and I know I have to get better for him but it is so hard to watch him
grow up every day and miss out on the little things. So it totally makes me
understand my own mother’s devotion to be by my side. I guess no matter the age
you are; you never want to see your children in pain. I have to keep telling
myself that I have plenty of time with my son and thank heavens he is so young
to not remember these months, hopefully. Sometimes when I see him, he doesn’t
want to look at me. I think he really is mad at me sometimes, he even tells me
through his grunting. J
I love him!!
Enough being sorry for myself. I was thankful this
week to be able to get feeling better and to be able to spend time with my
family. Conference was beautiful and it filled my heart with joy to hear our Prophet’s
voice. I loved President Dieter Uchdorf’s talk where he emphasized that we
should “Doubt your doubts, but not your Faith”. That was something I needed to
hear. The thing I love about conference is that there is always at least one
talk that will be written directly for you. I love it.
*EXTRA GREAT NEWS*
So
we’ve been having to keep moving back my transplant date because our insurance
said that the medical protocol (chemo regiment) I was getting wasn’t standard
procedure so they weren’t going to pay for it along with the transplant. But
luckily we had a lot of prayers behind us and an army of angry LDS hospital
doctors and financial coordinators who were willing to fight for us. We got
news this morning that the transplant is a go! Saturday the 12th of
October will be my new birthday!! I am so grateful for my sweet sister and her
sacrifice of precious marrow for me to live. Thank you for your combined
prayers! We truly are blessed.
Love you, Brit! Thanks for the update. Praying for you and your family.
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